Unable to Accept

You know, as an adult, I remember telling my sister, "she isn't your friend you know".

I had been referring to one of the girls at our work.

You see, my sister and I used to work at the same office job, and she used to be really close to one of the girls there. I didn't know the girl well, I actually didn't know anyone at the office well. It wasn't because I had only just commenced working there, it was because I was so far removed from work life that I saw it only as a polite thing to know at lest the peoples names. It sounds strange if you feel the same as I did back then, but that was how I looked at it.

They weren't my friends, I wasn't theirs. It was work, and that's it. There isn't any reason why I should do anything other then my own work. I shouldn't need to talk to anyone. I don't need to ask how they were. This was pretty much how I felt in school as well. I was only there to do my job.

So you could imagine why I said that to my sister, that the girl she was talking to about me, wasn't her friend.

But as soon as I said it, and seen my sisters response, I realized I was wrong. That I wasn't looking at work as the right angle. That I had been living my life as a lie. I couldn't adjust myself though, to the idea that people that you saw everyday, could be your friend, if you allowed it.

So I sat silently, completing my task like I supposed to and not talking. Not wanting to be close to anyone.

That was me. I have changed only a little.